mmmmm, bacon

I am on a diet and I am a vegan and to throw in for good measure, I am a Jew (meaning I should not be eating pork even if I wasn't a vegan who was trying to lose weight).

But those little bits of reality are not getting in the way of the fact that I can't get this thing off my mind.

Actually, I can't just get it off my mind, I can taste the damn thing.

(I guess I am also someone who does not want to die of a coronary, which should count for something.)

eunuch in a grocery store

Grand Union 1952 from Shorpy.com

I have not gone grocery shopping in more than three and a half years. I've managed to roam the aisles of Whole Foods every few months, but my real groceries have been delivered by Peapod ever since I broke my leg in the fall of 2004.

Over the years, friends have -- from time to time -- attempted to regale me with their tales of joy in the aisles: the pleasure of fondling fruit, of discovering new ingredients, of selecting the most beautiful cut of meat.

I have explained, in turn, that none of this appeals to me. I do not know how to cook. I do not care to know how to cook. I look at food and I do not think of the possibilities. I think, "What the hell am I going to do with that?" While I definitely take pleasure in food that others have cooked for me, I imagine my reaction to grocery shopping is similar to a eunuch in a Hustler Store.

"Yeah, so what?"

I went grocery shopping today. My general indication that it is time to submit a new order to Peapod is that my 79 cent flavored one liter seltzer stash has been depleted and, this time around, I let it go too far. I was parched. So, I thought to myself, "Maybe it will be fun to go to the grocery store. Tra la la la la."

No.

The grocery store sucks. First of all, it particularly sucks in DC because there are no decent grocery stores within city lines. I figured I might have some luck if I headed out to the suburbs and drove out to Giant in Arlington which, if you have not been before, is a DUMP. And, of course, I got the gimpy cart, which meant that, every time I tried to take a corner, I risked wiping out the end display.

No, it was not pleasurable. In fact, it was so not pleasurable that I dragged my lily white yuppie ass to Whole Foods to make myself feel better, stopping at Logan Tavern across the street for a glass of Laphroaig before heading in TO EASE MY PAIN.

$40 dollars of hors d'ouevres later (I spent $135 dollars at Giant -- about $25 of which were my beloved bottles of seltzer), I walked out of Whole Foods and headed home. I'll avoid sharing the tale of carrying 30 one liter bottles of seltzer into the house in bags that broke so easily that I actually had a conversation with one in the elevator which went something like this,

"You were put on this earth to carry things. You are not fulfilling your destiny."

(The bag did not respond.)

Peapod? I'll be back in touch.

As soon as I get through these 30 bottles of seltzer.

as quoted

Michael Arrington and Steve Rubel have already posted about kwout, so you might have already heard, but, in case you haven't . . .

kwout is a new way to quote content from other sites. Essentially, it enables you to do a screen grab that maintains hyperlinks. The quality of the image could be a little better, but I like it.

The following is from my new favorite photo blog, Cupcakes Take the Cake. There's something rather pleasurable about looking at endless photos of cupcakes.

Cupcakes Take The Cake: Trophy Cupcakes up for Best of Daily Candy 2007 via kwout

wrapping things up

Kristen posted her annual End of Year meme and tagged me to do it as well. I have been posting these now for a couple of years, always prompted to do so by Kristen.

1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?

• I convinced a Cabinet member to blog.
• I traveled to Greece and went to the Acropolis.
  
• I became confident in my skills as a manager.
  
• I saw The Dismemberment Plan in concert.
• I became a scotch drinker.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't make new year's resolutions. I make resolutions every day to take care of myself physically and emotionally. There is a reason I make these resolutions every day: I don't keep them.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

A whole bunch of folks had babies these year, but the person to whom I am closest was Amy, who gave birth to Jonas Aidan -- who resembles an old Chinese man more than most babies do -- on November 8.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

no

5. What countries did you visit?

I did less international travel in 2007 than I did in 2006. I spent a few days in Switzerland (Geneva) and a few days in England (London) in March and, in October, I went to Greece. All trips were work related and two out of three of those trips were with the great Johnny B.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?

• a social life that extends a little bit further than drinks at Smith & Wollensky
• patience, but I'm not holding out any hope
• hope for the political future of our country
  

7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

I have a few . . .

I'll always remember June 16, the day I visited my grandmother after her apartment fire, because it will be difficult to ever get the sight and scent of her apartment out of my mind, as well as the sadness of seeing her on the balcony of her temporary living space, looking lost -- and old.

On a happier note, I'll remember April 8, the day Andrew and I met up at the Sackler. He was giddy (as much as Andrew can be giddy) about the pottery and I was giddy about spending time with him again.

Finally, I'll remember October 6, the day John and I explored Athens with Michael Darragh. I knew I was getting ready to move on, but I loved seeing something new with John, who has helped me to see so many other new things, often inside myself.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I really do think I grew as a manager. I wasn't always "nice," but I was always incredibly invested in giving my team the opportunity to strengthen their skills and, therefore, their value to the group. I think that's rare. Rarer than it should be.

Beyond that, and despite the fact that not being able to work with John every day SUCKS, I see the new job I will be taking on in 2008 as a big achievement because it is getting me back into advocacy work.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Folks, I ate like a pig.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

This year, it became pretty clear to me that I am getting old. Everything is falling to pieces. No major illnesses or injuries, but a general state of decay has set in. Lordy, it ain't pretty.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

I love the brown jacket I bought at Anthropologie, but my Nikon D40x makes me swoon. Just ask Wyatt.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Al Gore for keeping up the fight, John Edwards for his populist message, Elizabeth Edwards for telling cancer (and her critics) to f*ck off, Wayne Coyne for continuing to have more fun than the rest of us, Jon Corzine and Martin O'Malley for fighting the death penalty, Heather Armstrong for her persistent honesty and humor. There are probably others. There are some good folks out there.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

How about appalled and angry? Ann Coulter is, and always will be, scum. She's just embarrassing.

14. Where did most of your money go?

eating out and clothes

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

I don't think I got excited enough this year, but I got excited when I got the invite to go to Greece and I got excited when I met the folks with whom I will be working in the new year.

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?

Don't give me a hard time, but Not Ready to Make Nice by the Dixie Chicks had the right amount of righteous indignation to get me to sing along every time I heard it. It was released in 2006, but I bought the CD this year.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you

• happier or sadder? sadder
• thinner or fatter? definitely fatter
• richer or poorer? richer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I had taken care of myself more: emotionally and physically.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

• read about Britney Spear's persistent downward spiral
• updated my status on Facebook

20. How will you be spending New Year’s?

I think I will be at Julia's.

22. Did you fall in love in 2007?

I was already there.

23. How many one-night stands?

zip

24. What was your favorite TV program?

I love How I Met Your Mother, although Kid Nation was a sincere source of fascination.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

I don't hate people. I dislike a few, but they're irrelevant.

26. What was the best book you read?

Homicide By David Simon and The Assault on Reason by Al Gore

27. What was your greatest musical (re)discovery?

I love Grinderman. That's damn good car music.

28. What did you want and get?

a reason to leave where I was

29. What did you want and not get?

a reason to stay where I was

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

I don't think I went to the movies the entire year. I just don't enjoy it anymore. But my favorite rentals were a cheery group: Little Children, Dogville, Half Nelson, The Chumscrubber, In the Heat of the Night, Sherrybaby, A Scanner Darkly, The Baxter, The Statement and Inside Man.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I honestly can't remember (what I did -- I am well aware of how old I am.) I'm at the point where I'm not a big fan of birthdays.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I could have used some more time with friends and less time working.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?

This was the year of the headband.

34. What kept you sane?

That's awfully presumptuous of you . . . I guess Steve did the best he could.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I watched every episode of Homicide this year and I fell in love with Kyle Secor (aka Baylis). Someone needs to give that man (and Andre Braugher) a job.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

There's no one political issue that stirs me. I get riled up pretty easily day to day and there have been points throughout the presidential campaign where I was ready to impale myself, usually because of some ridiculously folksy thing Mike Huckabee said or because I can not believe that anyone would give serious consideration to Rudy Giuliani as President of the United States. But, I was thrilled with the recent Supreme Court decision to enable lower court judges not to follow federal sentencing guidelines for crack offenses, addressing the longstanding disparity between sentencing for crack cocaine and powder cocaine offences. That was one of those, "Wait, someone actually wants to right an injustice?" moments that comes so infrequently.

37. Who did you miss?

I missed Chris. But I took care of that, didn't I?

38. Who was the best new person you met?

I really like Cooper. He tells great stories (I like stories involving his son in which he adopts a voice that sounds like Beavis -- or Butthead, I can't tell -- with a lisp) and, in general, is just a f*cking charming guy. Plus, he was apparently a rock star in a former life. I hope we stay in touch . . . and I wish him the best.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.

Sometimes doing what's right for you hurts more than doing the wrong thing. (I think I knew that already.)

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

I try to keep the house nice and neat
I make my bed I change the sheets
I even learned how to use the washing machine
But keeping things clean doesn't change anything
("Hate it Here" by Wilco)

I'm tagging Kaitlyn, Qui and Samantha, although I am not sure any of them will do it.

no more wonder

Savannah has turned out to be a bit of a bust. I think, in part, I've just been hit by the desire to be home, as well as a touch of the holiday doldrums.

The hotel is pleasant, but I don't like the fact that I can hear conversations in the hallway and now, tonight, conversations on the balcony.

I like silence.

By the way, in order to get onto the balcony (which overlooks a busy street - not quite what I had in mind),

you need to climb through the window.

Plus, it's raining. The fact that Georgia is in the midst of a drought makes it ridiculous to kvetch about it, but it just made everything today pretty dreary. But Savannah is not going to be a place I return to. The joy of road trips is feeling like you have discovered something new. Savannah feels like they created the experience for you: there's nothing new to discover.

If you come to Savannah, and you are looking for something to eat, I had lunch at Belford's: the house salad and the shrimp, greens and grits. The house salad was fine, although there was too much parmesan, but the shrimp and grits were dull and tasted primarily like butter.

The Maker's Mark I had with lunch helped to dull the pain of the crap shrimp and grits.

I had better luck last night at Sakura, which is directly across the street from the hotel. It was pretty good sushi. Actually, there are quite a few sushi restaurants in this downtown area, but this one was the one that was hopping and seemed to be filled with locals.

When I returned to the hotel (after a phone chat with David about high brow liberal media coverage of Jamie Lynn Spears ), I had a couple of glasses of 21 year old Balvenie in the lobby bar, along with some fine conversation with two drunk men (John and James) in from Hilton Head and the bartenders (James and some guy who reminded me of my friend Chad).

Whatever. I need to post my year end meme and then I think I will be done with this long string of "wonder of me" posts. They're boring the sh*t out of me.

I can only imagine what they are doing to you.

lick my boots

Today was one of those days when it was difficult to ignore the fact that Mother Nature has the power to make you get on your knees in front of her and lick her boots.

I'm safely (and blissfully) stopped for the night at a Hampton Inn just south of Montgomery (Alabama), but I spent five hours in the car today in a torrential downpour, a lightning storm and a wind storm that was strong enough to blow my car from lane to lane. It was the kind of driving where you just hope for the best, because you can barely see ten feet in front of you and you have no idea if some other driver with no sense of mortality is going to take you off the road as collateral damage.

The best moment was when I was at the drive through at Burger King (shut up, I gave in) and lightning struck about a hundred yards away, causing a huge puff of black smoke, a small fire and, yes, the power to go out and for me not to get that Whopper I was hoping for.

moderately priced lap dances

Chris and I met for lunch today at HerbSaint.

We sat outside because, for the first time since I have been here, it was sunny and in the 70's.

I had the Tomato and Shrimp Bisque . . .


. . . and the Cornmeal Fried Oysters with Cole Slaw and Hot Sauce (yum).

I also had a couple of glasses of Maker's Mark. Chris had the seltzer. He's not a lady of leisure like myself.

After lunch, I went down to the French Quarter, which really wasn't my thing. It made me think of Vegas with better architecture and deeper history. But maybe if I had heard the music play . . .

However, if you're looking for a moderately priced lap dance -- from the prettiest girls in the South, no less . . .

. . . you're golden.

tales from the road

I think I am heading out of New Orleans tomorrow, but today I am going to venture to the French Quarter in the afternoon (after lunch with Chris and a phone call for the new gig) and then tomorrow morning I am heading to the Lower 9th Ward to see the Pink Project.

Then I hit the trail. Savannah, GA is my next destination. I'll probably get there some time on Friday and I just booked a room for a couple of nights at The Marshall House, which was apparently featured on the Travel Channel's Great Hotels. I got a balcony room and apparently it will be in the 70's over the weekend, so I'm looking forward to it.

Samantha Brown from the Travel Channel gets the veranda at The Marshall Hotel ready for me.

So, before I leave New Orleans (okay, I still have more than 24 hours), let me tell you about some of the places where I have eaten or gone shopping while I've been here.

On Saturday night, Chris and I went to Jacques-Imo's Cafe and shared shrimp and alligator sausage cheesecake, fried green tomatos and fried grits. I had the Carpter Bagger Steak and Chris had the Blackened Redfish . . . and then we died of a coronary on the way to the car. Well, not quite, but we barely touched our entrees we were so full . . . All of it was tasty and RICH and hanging out in the bar for an hour before being seated was less of a drag than it has ever been. Of course, it had to do with being there with Chris, but the Mark Hoppus/Travis Morrison love child bartender and festive mood made the time pass quickly.

On Sunday night, we went to Juan's Flying Burrito. I had a pretty disappointing margarita (did not taste any tequila) and, despite the fact that Chris was crushing on the waitress, the service was insanely slow. But the Flying Enchiladas ("steak, chicken and shrimp grilled together, then stuffed inside our cheese enchiladas served with all three sauces, topped with sour cream and guacamole") was tasty and the servings weren't huge, so I left sated, not stuffed.

On Monday, as I reported before, I spent the day at rue de la course and had a pretty unremarkable sandwich that I won't bore you with. Drink coffee and use their wifi. Don't order a sandwich. The setting is beautiful and low key and there are only a few annoying hippie/punk hybrids who make you want to cut yourself.

Monday night I ate alone at Bistro Italia because Chris started his bar class. I drank too much Pinot Noir, had the Gorgonzola Balsamic Salad (the pistachios were a nice touch, but I always forget how much I hate sun dried tomatos) and the Pesto Pasta ("penne pasta sauteed with mushrooms, garlic and basil, tossed in an alfredo and pesto sauce atop marinara"). I ate at the bar and was kept company by Matt (or Mark?), the bartender, who was trying to come up with a play list of mellow music and to whom I introduced Boz Scaggs (not literally, but in song.)

Yesterday, I ate one meal, which often happens when I am on the road because I am either being lazy or unadventurous. But it was a good meal -- with great and charming service from my Australian waitress -- at Slim Goodies Diner. (I don't know, I really like waitresses that use terms of endearment. I'm a sucker for that sh*t.) I chose the Slimcherros, their signature version of Huevos Rancheros. Sure, it's hard to screw up beans, cheese, tortillas and eggs (and salsa and avocado and sour cream) but it was yummy and, like Juan's, the serving size was small enough that it hit the spot just right.

(You know how they tell you to keep a journal of what you eat when you are going on a diet? Yeah, reading this list of my meals over the past few days makes me want to go on a 30 day fast; or at least put down the sour cream and walk away slowly.)

I showed you my new shoes (which I got at Giggle Berries, which sounds too much like dingle berries for me). Yesterday I bought a new jacket at Hemline, but I haven't taken a photo of it (and I'm not sure I will).

These are from Slim Goodies. I need to become more comfortable taking pictures of people I don't know. Like the friendly Australian waitress.

two jews walk into a bar

Thanks to Erin Zimmer at Serious Eats for bringing He'Brew Beer to my attention. I have no idea if it tastes any good (I will find out tomorrow when I hunt it down at Whole Foods or one of the other sellers in DC), but I managed to get a laugh or two out of their web site. Great video schtick (although I wish I could embed it . . .), great merchandise, and they're giving love -- and real estate -- to their fans.

This is a beautiful thing. Appeal to the exclusivity of a group of folks -- myself included -- who call themselves the "chosen" ones and you have a fan brand that cannot fail.

del.icio.us tags 11.11.07

Want to get more detailed stats for your site? Don't let Google Analytics scare you. Mahalo gives step by step directions on 1) setting up your account, 2) inserting Google Analytics Java Script into your site, 3) getting an overview of your site performance, 4) getting daily and hourly stats and 5) seeing where your traffic comes from.

Back in college I became a vegan solely to prove to the straight edge punk boys with whom I was spending my time that it was not as difficult as they liked to make it appear to be. After the fact, I realized that -- at least for me -- it was just a socially acceptable eating disorder. I didn't give a rat's a** about being healthy, I just wanted to demonstrate how much control I had over what went in my mouth. I doubt this is what PETA had in mind when it created I Can't Believe It's Vegan, their fabulous new yes-you-can-eat-Capt'n-Crunch (with soy milk) web site. Of course, they neglected to include the Zagnut, my favorite vegan candy bar. Maybe I could be a vegan again after all.


Tell someone you love them without worrying about leaving the cake out in rain with the RedKid.net Cake Writing Generator. Lots of other fun ways to impress your friends/waste your time too.

Finally, something new for me to spend my money on. It doesn't mean I will actually part ways with my vinyl, but it does mean that I will be able to listen to it. Plus, I just love saying Hammacher Schlemmer.

not quite ashley blue

I flew from DC to NY for the flight to Athens.


That flight was on Frontier Airlines. I was very excited to receive peanut butter crackers.


I saw the latest issue of GQ while hanging out at JFK for FOUR AND A HALF HOURS. Men of style from the past 50 years. Paul Newman, Robert Redford, Al Pacino and . . . Tom Brady?


The flight to Athens wasn't as dreadful as I thought it would be, considering the fact that it was 10 hours and I was sitting in COACH. I was alone in a two seater with a bulk head in front of me so I could stretch my legs and the flight attendant in first class snuck me champagne. Which was helpful in swallowing those sleeping pills . . .

Jory Des Jardins, from BlogHer, the only other women on the bus ride from the airport to the conference center.


John got here soon after I did. My plan to take a shower and a nap went out the window.

But I did manage to find the time to walk into the Mediterranean Sea for the first time in my life.

John used one of the new Flip cameras to document the act of having someone add a session to the conference schedule. Riveting.

This blog is brought to you by the kind people
(including Nic Fulton from Reuters here), who made the wifi work.

del.icio.us: food

I love food. I can't cook for sh*t, but I can eat like a pro. And I've noticed more and more that, when I travel back to places where I once lived, I'm slightly more excited to visit my favorite restaurants than I am to visit my friends.

Serious Eats makes me hungry just looking at it. Not as hungry as I get when I am looking at Tastespotting (which, as I believe I have mentioned in the past, is pure food porn), but hungry nevertheless. I subscribed to the feed for Required Eating, the site's blog, so I can be hungry on an up to the minute basis. (I have PMS. If you stopped moving for too long while standing in front of me and allowed me to pour A-1 steak sauce on you, I would probably eat you.)

In other foodie news, my favorite DC food blog, metrocurean, shared this fabulous video of Christopher Walken, which comes via Im Cooked, "a web community for video recipe sharing."

"these pears look very nice . . . "

DC dinner and a movie

I discovered Metrocurean yesterday, which promises to bring me the "latest news on restaurant and bar openings, buzz and noteworthy happenings in Washington, D.C., along with a side dish of epicurean adventures."

Maybe after a fabulous meal somewhere here in DC (please, metrocurean, point me in the direction), I can take the Metro up to Silver Spring because the AFI Silver Theatre kicked off a summer series on July 6 (which ends on September 6) called "Totally Awesome: Films of the 80s." Despite the painful series title, it seems worth it to head up to Silver Spring to see a couple of the movies, if not more.

Just a few of the flicks I'll be hoping to head up to Silver Spring to see (again) on the big screen:

I'm still waiting for John Cusack to show up outside my window.

"The more you drive, the less intelligent you are."

John Lurie can come stand outside my window too.

Go on, Andie, express your triumph by making an ugly dress.

My high school English teacher, Mrs. Lovell, had fantasies that she would quit her job at the (Catholic) high school by putting Blue Velvet on the VCR and walking out the front door.