having an impact

I've become increasingly aware of people who are doing what they want to do with their lives and having a positive impact on others' in the process.

I wrote recently about Dallas Clayton, who wrote a beautiful book for his son to inspire a little boy to think big and, when he couldn't find a publisher, published it himself and is now giving copies away.

I watched Jonathan Demme's Jimmy Carter: Man from Plains this morning, about a former president who is willing to ruffle feathers and speak his mind because he lives according to a code of justice and has no other option.

I have, for years, admired my friend David Wilson, for developing the truly inspiring True False Film Fest in his hometown of Columbia, Missouri, capturing the attention of filmmakers from around the world for his love letter to documentary films, his beloved hometown and his family.

I have obviously written about my childhood mentor, John Hughes, who rejected a world that nevertheless embraced him and encouraged me and instilled in me a desire to follow my own passions.

Then there's my friend, Christie Herring, a documentary filmmaker who is working hard to complete her film, The Campaign, about the campaign to defeat California's Prop 8, which, one year ago, overturned the right to marriage for same sex couples.



There was a great post about Christie and The Campaign this morning in The Huffington Post, with Georgianne Nienaber relating today's fight for equal rights for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people with her own experiences in the gay rights movement of the mid-1970's. It was a lovely reminder to me that, once again — people can do what they want with their lives and have a positive impact on others' lives in the process.

It sounds so stupidly obvious, doesn't it? But how many of us are really doing it?

I don't think I can say I am.

someone, can you hear me?

I finished the first draft of the book proposal about five minutes ago and sent it to my agent. It's far from perfect, but I got to the point where it just needed to be DONE. The purpose, at this stage, is to get a publisher to commit to it, not to win a Nobel Prize.

Concerns? It sounds more depressing, or at least melodramatic, than I intend it to be. I literally wanted to write across the top of it, "THIS WILL BE FUNNY. YOU WILL LAUGH. I PROMISE."

But I refrained. Hopefully my sense of humor will come through.

(Please, let it come through.)

I still need to hear from someone to know that it's okay.

(Someone, can you hear me?)

And then, if it goes forward, I'll have to deal with the ramifications of being honest about life on the Byrne Fields ranch.

Crap.

So, I'm still trying to decide which John Hughes I most closely resembled as a teenager (in terms of character, not looks — or even gender.)

Here are the contenders:

Alison Reynolds (The Breakfast Club)

Duckie Dale (Pretty in Pink)

Samantha Baker (Sixteen Candles)

Andie Walsh (Pretty in Pink)

Watts (Some Kind of Wonderful)

I think Alison might be in the lead…

where the wild things are

I tried to tweet about this, but 140 characters didn't do it justice. 826LA, the LA branch of the organization I asked folks to make donations to, is going to be doing a "special preview screening" of the new Spike Jonze film, "Where the Wild Things Are" on October 1 in Los Angeles at the Arlight Theater to raise money for the organization.

Dave Eggers, the film's screenwriter, is the founder of 826National.

If you want to see the film and participate in the Q&A after the film (with Eggers, Jonze and actors Catherine Keener and Max Records), it will cost you a well-spent $75. If you want to mix and mingle at the after party, your ticket will cost you $200.

Tickets are going fast. I'd like to be there. If you get a chance to go, come back and tell us how it went.

I am still waiting for my check from the New York Post so I can send my donation to 826. I'm hoping it's in my mailbox when I get home from Amsterdam tomorrow.

stops and starts and flows

This comes down on Sunday, but it's an interview I did on BBC Radio on August 7. I like it because they asked me to read the blog post in full.

When I write, that's how I edit. If it sounds good out loud, if it feels good on my tongue, than it passes muster.

I'm a fan of the rhythm of words, of how punctuation and the use of paragraphs (is there a word for that?) creates a cadence of stops and starts and flows.

Do you read your stuff out loud too? With the door closed or with an audience in the room?

I have the door closed.

Fast forward to 1:16:00 if you want to listen.

Update: The BBC piece is no longer available online. But they sent me an mp3 file and I've posted it to Vimeo. Is it just me or is it really slow?

Making Lemonade

This is a film (Lemonade) about people in the ad agency world who lost their jobs and found something better on the other side, including their happiness and an unexpected new sense of self worth.

Yeah, I work in the industry. Don't read too much into it. Read THIS into it. If you're not doing what you want to be doing right this very minute, you might want to reconsider.

I'm getting this out there for a Twitter friend, the film's writer and co-executive producer and former agency ACD. Watch it. He's a good man, that Eric Proulx (@eproulx) and I think he might be doing what he was meant to be doing all along.

Sincerely, John Hughes

I was babysitting for my mom's friend Kathleen's daughter the night I wrote that first fan letter to John Hughes. I can literally remember the yellow grid paper, the blue ball point pen and sitting alone in the dim light in the living room, the baby having gone to bed.

I poured my heart out to John, told him about how much the movie mattered to me, how it made me feel like he got what it was like to be a teenager and to feel misunderstood.

(I felt misunderstood.)

I sent the letter and a month or so later I received a package in the mail with a form letter welcoming me as an "official" member of The Breakfast Club, my reward a strip of stickers with the cast in the now famous pose.

I was irate.

I wrote back to John, explaining in no uncertain terms that, excuse me, I just poured my fucking heart out to you and YOU SENT ME A FORM LETTER.

That was just not going to fly.

He wrote back.

"This is not a form letter. The other one was. Sorry. Lots of requests. You know what I mean. I did sign it."

He wrote back and told me that he was sorry, that he liked my letter and that it meant a great deal to him. He loved knowing that his words and images resonated with me and people my age. He told me he would say hi to everyone on my behalf.

"No, I really will. Judd will be pleased you think he's sexy. I don't."

I asked him if he would be my pen pal.

He said yes.

"I'd be honored to be your pen pal. You must understand at times I won't be able to get back to you as quickly as I might want to. If you'll agree to be patient, I'll be your pen pal."


For two years (1985-1987), John Hughes and I wrote letters back and forth. He told me - in long hand black felt tip pen on yellow legal paper - about life on a film set and about his family. I told him about boys, my relationship with my parents and things that happened to me in school. He laughed at my teenage slang and shared the 129 question Breakfast Club trivia test I wrote (with the help of my sister) with the cast, Ned Tanen (the film's producer) and DeDe Allen (the editor). He cheered me on when I found a way around the school administration's refusal to publish a "controversial" article I wrote for the school paper. And he consoled me when I complained that Mrs. Garstka didn't appreciate my writing.

"As for your English teacher…Do you like the way you write? Please yourself. I'm rather fond of writing. I actually regard it as fun. Do it frequently and see if you can't find the fun in it that I do."

He made me feel like what I said mattered.

"I can't tell you how much I like your comments about my movies. Nor can I tell you how helpful they are to me for future projects. I listen. Not to Hollywood. I listen to you. I make these movies for you. Really. No lie. There's a difference I think you understand."


"It's been a month of boring business stuff. Grown up, adult, big people meetings. Dull but necessary. But a letter from Alison always makes the mail a happening thing."


"I may be writing about young marriage. Or babies. Or Breakfast Club II or a woman's story. I have a million ideas and can't decide what's next. I guess I'll just have to dive into something. Maybe a play."

"You've already received more letters from me than any living relative of mine has received to date. Truly, hope all is well with you and high school isn't as painful as I portray it. Believe in yourself. Think about the future once a day and keep doing what you're doing. Because I'm impressed. My regards to the family. Don't let a day pass without a kind thought about them."


There were a few months in 1987 when I didn't hear from John. I missed his letters and the strength and power and confidence they gave me and so I sent a letter to Ned Tanen who, by that time, was the President of Paramount Pictures (he died earlier this year). In my letter I asked Mr. Tanen if he knew what was up with John, why he hadn't been writing and if he could perhaps give him a poke on my behalf.

He did.

I came home from school soon after to find an enormous box on my front porch filled with t-shirts and tapes and posters and scripts and my very own Ferris Bueller's Day Off watch.

And a note.

"I missed you too. Don't get me in trouble with my boss any more. Sincerely, John Hughes."

Fast forward.

1997. I was working in North Carolina on a diversity education project that partnered with colleges and universities around the country to implement a curriculum that used video production as an experiential education tool. On a whim, I sent John a video about the work we were doing. I was proud of it and, all these years later, I wanted him to be proud too.

Late one night I was in the office, scheduled to do an interview with a job candidate. Ten minutes or so into the call it was clear that he wasn't the right guy, but I planned to suffer through.

Then the phone rang.

1…2…3…4…a scream came from the other room and 1…2…3…my boss Tony was standing in my doorway yelling, "John Hughes is on the phone!!"

I politely got off the phone with the job candidate who was no longer a candidate and

Hit. Line. Two.

"Hi, John."

"Hi, Alison."

We talked for an hour. It was the most wonderful phone call. It was the saddest phone call. It was a phone call I will never forget.

John told me about why he left Hollywood just a few years earlier. He was terrified of the impact it was having on his sons; he was scared it was going to cause them to lose perspective on what was important and what happiness meant. And he told me a sad story about how, a big reason behind his decision to give it all up was that "they" (Hollywood) had "killed" his friend, John Candy, by greedily working him too hard.

He also told me he was glad I had gotten in touch and that he was proud of me for what I was doing with my life. He told me, again, how important my letters had been to him all those years ago, how he often used the argument "I'm doing this for Alison" to justify decisions in meetings.

Tonight, when I heard the news that John had died, I cried. I cried hard. (And I'm crying again.) I cried for a man who loved his friends, who loved his family, who loved to write and for a man who took the time to make a little girl believe that, if she had something to say, someone would listen.

Thank you, John Hughes. I love you for what you did to make me who I am.

Sincerely, Alison Byrne Fields.

just dreamy

david lynch puts baby in the corner

end of year wrap up

It feels a bit like cheating to write an end of year blog post when I haven't been posting much, but I'm a sucker for tradition and a touch obsessive compulsive, so it's going to happen. And, well, I'm resolved to get this blog going again in 2009, so consider this a new beginning.

Anyway, this is my, I believe, fourth end of year post. I generally wait for Kristen to tag me, but she's pretty much abandoned her blog as well, so I'm not sure I can wait that long.

Here we go.

What did you do in 2008 that you had never done before?

• Spoke at a funeral

• Became really comfortable with public speaking — in fact, I get a rush from it now.
  

Did you keep your new year's resolutions and will you make more for next year?
Last year I said that I didn't make new year's resolutions and I kept to my word. Well, maybe I need to start making them and sticking to them because things NEED to get better. I've made 15+ resolutions for 2009 and things ARE going to get better.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
I feel like everyone around me is getting married and having babies, which makes sense because I am a single woman in her (late) 30's and we get like that. Anyway, a couple of friends with whom I was close in college had babies: Freyja and Kira. My new friend Ashton also pushed out a puppy and Mark's wife Maureen had a baby at the beginning of the year. I think that's it. Let me know if I missed anyone.

Did anyone close to you die?
My grandmother, Ruth Fields, died in February. And, yes, this has something to do with my answer about what I did this year that I have never done before. I read something at her funeral that she had asked to be read. I remember it rhymed and kinda felt like something you'd cut out of Reader's Digest and tape to your refrigerator if you were into taping things about not being sad after you're dead on your refrigerator. We're planning her unveiling now and I miss her horribly. I also know that, when I wrote last year that no one close to me had died, I would be writing about her death this year.

I miss you, Grandma, and I always will.

What countries did you visit?
I traveled a great deal this year, but primarily the 2,306 (according to United) miles between Washington DC an Seattle. Internationally, I only traveled to The Netherlands in August and to France in October.

What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Some success at business development would be nice. But there's one thing I spent way too much time in 2008 really really really wanting that I would love to have in 2009, but I think maybe it's better just to, instead, regain my sanity and perspective and stop wanting it so much.

Maybe I shouldn't want it at all, as a matter of fact.

What date from 2008 will remain etched in your memory, and why?
How can I say anything but November 4? Holy shit. Woke up godawful early to vote and ended the day in tears amazed, AMAZED when Keith Olbermann announced that Barack Obama was projected to be the next president of the United States. Wonderful, beautiful, hopeful.



What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I don't really feel like I pulled off any great achievement this year. It felt more like endurance; I kept going despite it all. Sorry to be such a drama queen but it just was not a banner year. The bar is low, but 2009 will be a marked improvement.

What was my biggest failure?
That I merely endured?

Did you suffer illness or injury?
I was pretty healthy this year. I'm sick now with a cold, but the body stood up pretty well. Keep going, baby.

What was the best thing you bought this year?
I have worn my black Frye boots so often this year that I had to have the heels replaced. I am embarrassed by how often I wear them.

Whose behavior merited celebration?
I cried when Hillary Clinton called for Obama to receive the Democratic nomination by acclimation from the floor of the Convention. I respect her tremendously and know how badly she wanted the nomination — and for the right reasons — but she rose above in a way that all of us should aspire to.



Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Sarah Palin is repulsive. She is an idiot. But even worse than Sarah Palin are the fools who fell for her crap. You should all be sent to Guantanamo and forced to stay there for seven years without a trial. Okay?

Where did most of your money go?
Buying other people drinks and dinner. And dresses. I bought a hell of a lot of dresses this year.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I got pretty damn giddy about the election.

What song will always remind you of 2008?
There are two songs: "I Found a Reason" by Cat Power



and "Beautiful Child" by Rufus Wainwright.



Compared to this time last year are you happier or sadder?
I think I might be sadder. It's been a tough year. But I'm hopeful, so the chin is up.

Compared to this time last year are you thinner or fatter?
I think I might be fatter. I'm definitely not thinner. That's next year.

Compared to this time last year are you richer or poorer?
Richer.

What do you wish you'd done more of?
Showed love.

What do you wish you'd done less of?
Worked. But more importantly, resented working. That's crap.

How will you be spending New Year's?
I celebrate on New Year's Day and generally just go to bed on New Year's Eve. I know it makes me sound like a boring old lady, but I want to capitalize on the hopefulness of the new year by waking up feeling good and spending the day doing something that makes me happy.

Did you fall in love in 2008?
I was in love when the year started . . .

How many one night stands?
No more one night stands for me. Late night text messages from friends with whom I have an understanding? Yeah, those, those happened. But I won't count.

What was your favorite TV program?
I tend to watch more television shows on Netflix now than on television. Whole series at a time. Discover a great show and then watch the hell out of it. Friday Night Lights is the latest. Season 1 was leaps and bounds better than Season 2, but I'll definitely be tuning in for the premiere of Season 3 on NBC on January 16.


Do you hate anyone know that you didn't hate this time last year?
I don't hate people. But I do dislike a couple of people whom I didn't even know last year. How's that?

What was the best book you read?
I loved Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail by Hunter S. Thompson, particularly in the midst of the election. I wish Hunter was around to cover this one.

What was your greatest musical (re)discovery?
My love for Liz Phair returned with a vengeance this year after I saw her at the 9:30 Club in DC in August. I had been listening to Exile in Guyville and then realized after the fact that Whip Smart was amazing.


What did you want and get?
A Democrat in the White House.


What did you want and not get?
I don't want to get into specifics, but I lost something I didn't even know I had. The biggest surprise was in realizing how much I wanted it when I realized I couldn't.

What was your favorite film of this year?
"He could wield a pretty effective sword against what's going on right now."

I loved Gonzo: The Life and Work of Hunter S. Thompson.



What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
I was at my grandmother's funeral on my birthday and I was as old as the hills.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Getting that thing I wanted.

How would you describe your personal fashion statement in 2008?
This year's uniform was a dress, black tights and black boots. And the headbands continue to go strong.

What kept you sane?
Who — Ray Page, Japanese salary man

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I have to be too old to answer this question with any dignity. Jason Bateman remains my longest running crush. I've developed new crushes on Kyle Chandler, Zach Gilford and Taylor Kitsch on Friday Night Lights. Hunter S. Thompson is my dead crush.

What political issue stirred you the most?
I'm pretty much at a boil at all times when it comes to politics, so this question has never worked for me. I had tunnel vision this year. I just wanted to WIN.

Who did you miss?
Grandma.

Who was the best new person you met?
Ray Page, Japanese salary man

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008?
I've learned a fair amount of humility in 2008 and he'll hate to hear it if he ever reads this, but I credit my friend Ray Page. I listen to his feedback in a way that I have never been able to before because I sincerely trust the source and, in the process, have gotten better at listening to feedback from others.

It's a really mutually supportive friendship that makes me pretty damn happy — except when we rag on each other mercilessly and I want to scoop his heart out and eat it with a side of fries.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your ear.
Mental wounds still screaming
Driving me insane
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train.

Some Things I Find Funny

The lovely people at This Recording, my favorite blog, have an ongoing series of posts about the things they find funny. Molly was the latest to post, but Lucas, Karina, Danish, Elisabeth, Tyler, Georgia and Alex have all thrown their hats into the ring as well.

My turn. Join in if you feel the urge.

Jeremy's latest haircut, Neil Patrick Harris and Jason Segal on How I Met Your Mother, the lobster scene in Annie Hall, Martin Sheen as serial killer Kit Carruthers in Badlands

Julia Louis Dreyfus in The Adventures of New Old Christine, Bob Newhart, mom bloggers (Heather Armstrong, Eden Kennedy and Chris Jordan), Judd Apatow's television series (Freaks and Geeks and Declared)

people who speak loudly at funerals, the bus ride to the African Village with John Bell at Disney World, Hunter S. Thompson, the finale scene in the season three finale of Curb Your Enthusiasm (and most every other scene in the series),

Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, videos of small children swearing, Tobias' business card on Arrested Development

Jason Bateman in Smokin' Aces, watching the GI Joe Pork Chop videos with Ray and Shawn

Paul Rudd, Family Guy, Hugh McLeod, Gonzo

the scene in Fearless Freaks where Wayne Coyne has the kids reenact the Long John Silver robbery, Rushmore, someecards.com, As Time Goes By

Natalie Portman raps

when other people fall down.

cold sore and all

Anyone who comes by here regularly will be aware of my inordinate love for Jason Bateman. And, in my best, "No really, I'm old school," protest, let me remind you that I loved the man (boy) since circa Silver Spoons, so back your I'm so hip Arrested Development should have been picked up by another network a** up.

Anyway, I love him more than I did five minutes ago because I just saw this clip of Jason as I have never seen him before from Smokin' Aces. He's looking pretty nasty -- cold sore and all -- but he's brilliant in the scene and absolutely hysterical (watch Ben Affleck at about 1:30 turn away to try to stifle his laughter).

The clip comes via Intense Guys, "great movie moments, one clip at a time," and one of new favorite blogs.

i know why john hughes left hollywood

In the 80's — as a teenager — I began and maintained a correspondence with the film director, John Hughes, after I sent him a fan letter in response to seeing The Breakfast Club. It was, quite honestly, one of the most significant experiences of my childhood and — in many ways — my life because of the support John gave me as a writer and as a person. He instilled in me the confidence to see life in terms of opportunities and not obstacles.

More than a decade later, when I was working at a nonprofit organization in Durham NC, I sent him a note to catch him up on what I was doing with my life. Late one night, while I was on the phone interviewing a job candidate who I knew, within minutes of starting the call, did not have a chance in hell of getting the job. The phone rang in the next room, I heard a scream and my boss, Tony, came running into my office to tell me that John Hughes was on the phone.

I hung up on the job candidate and took the call.

But, I'm not going to tell you what we talked about.

You know why? Because recently there has been a flurry of articles and blog posts about John Hughes and his disappearance from Hollywood. He's being compared to Howard Hughes or J.D. Salinger and everyone wants to know what caused him to walk away from it all.

John told me that night why he left and if he's not talking, neither am I.

(Is this what they mean by a "tease"?)

you, sir, make me feel blue

I decided a number of years ago that I didn't like movies with brown palettes, which is why I don't like Lord of the Rings . . .

. . . and the thought of paying money and sitting through a movie like 300 causes me to break out in hives.



Blues and greens, ahhh . . . Badlands has lots of blues as a result of the amazing vistas and the lushness of the green of the early forest scenes -- despite what the movie poster might lead you to believe.

Very satisfying.

And, although I discovered after a poor purchase decision at J Crew that yellow has no place in my personal wardrobe, I'm open to the idea of a yellow movie as well. Maybe it's just primary colors?

Darjeeling Limited is a yellow movie that I have not see yet.

This post has no purpose at all beyond serving as a preface to me telling you -- now listen up -- that wear palettes is a one of the most satisfying blogs I have been checking these days. It makes me want to carry a Pantone GoeGuide in my pocket and approach strangers on the street to tell them what colors I see when I look at them.


Update: Wes Anderson's fondness for yellow expands beyond Darjeeling to his first (we always remember our first): the brilliant Bottle Rocket.


I'm too lazy to do the research to see if this trend follows through on his other films. Thanks to the kids at This Recording for making this post almost as long as one of their brilliant diatribes. (They and Dave Armano are my current blog crushes -- even if Dave does think he's losing his mojo.)

as quoted by, part II

Kristen was kind enough to her readers to follow up on her movie quote meme post with the answers, so I figured I would do the same.

Here are the answers to my earlier post. Thanks to the folks who contributed answers.

1. "I heard this story once about when the Germans were occupying Paris and they had to retreat back. They wired Notre Dame to blow, but they had to leave one guy in charge of hitting the switch. And the guy, the soldier, he couldn't do it. You know, he just sat there, knocked out by how beautiful the place was. And then when the allied troops came in, they found all the explosives just lying there and the switch unturned, and they found the same thing at Sacre Couer, Eiffel Tower. Couple other places I think." "Is that true?" "I don't know. I always liked the story, though." - Ethan Hawke in Before Sunset

2. "I didn't mean to scare you. I just think you're interesting." - Wes Bentley in American Beauty

3. "I didn't feel shame or fear, but just kind of blah, like when you're sitting there and all the water's run out of the bathtub." - Kristen got this one: Sissy Spacek in Badlands

4. "I hope that was an empty bottle, George! You can't afford to waste good liquor. Not on your salary, not on an associate professor's salary! - Kristen got this one too: Elizabeth Taylor in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

5. "Bless me Father for I have sinned. Three months since my last confession. I — these are my sins. Took the Lord's name in vain on several occasions. On a number of occasions, I've taken newspapers from the racks without paying for them. I've — deliberately taken pleasure in impure thoughts. I've been involved in some work that I think, I think will be used to hurt these two young people. It's happened to me before. People were hurt because of my work and I'm afraid it could happen again and I'm — I was in no way responsible. I'm not responsible. For these and all my sins of my past life, I am heartily sorry." - Gene Hackman in The Conversation

6. "I'm so sorry for what happened between us. I realize what a terrible mistake I made with you. And I can only hope that you understand. Be assured you can count on me for excellent references." - Jennifer got this one: Maggie Gyllenhaal in Secretary

7. "It's like they taught us at Harvard: few things are as gratifying to the soul as having another man's nuts in a vise." - Jason Robards in All the President's Men

8. "Are you out of your mind? You know, I admit I may not be the best mother in the world, but I'm doing the best I know how, and he doesn't need you to rub his face in shit because you think it's good for him! He's gonna find out that the world is a horrible place and that people suck soon enough and without any help from you!" - Christina got this one: Laura Linney in You Can Count on Me

9. "You're the first person that I've wanted to tell that to, 'cause you're the first person that I've wanted to talk to for more than five minutes . . . ever." - Zooey Deschanel in All the Real Girls

10. "Every one of my records means something! The label, the producer, the year it was made. Who was copying whose style — who's expanding on that, don't you understand? When I listen to my records they take me back to certain points in my life, OK? Just don't touch my records, ever! You! The first time I met you? Modell's sister's high school graduation party, right? 1955. And 'Ain't That A Shame' was playing when I walked into the door!" - Daniel Stern in Diner

11. "Ben, you're boring me. I have a husband. I don't have a need for another one." - Sigourney Weaver in The Ice Storm

12. "You go back to your hotel and I'll go back to my glamorous life of being alone. The only thing I have to come home to is a bottle of mouthwash to get the taste of cum out of my mouth. I'm tired of being alone. That's what I'm tired of." - Elisabeth Shue in Leaving Las Vegas

13. "So tell me, Cameron, just tell me because I'd like to know, what on earth could make you think that we would want to share a flat like this with someone like you? I mean, my first impression, and they're rarely wrong, is that you have none of the qualities that we normally seek in a prospective flatmate. I'm talking here about things like presence, charisma, style and charm, and I don't think we're asking too much, I don't think we're being unreasonable. Take David here, for instance: a chartered accountant he may be, but at least he tries hard. The point is I don't think you're trying." - Kristen got this one: Ewan McGregor in Shallow Grave

14. "Do we really have to listen to this vagina music all the way there?" - Liev Schreiber in Walking and Talking

15. "Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill you. That's not a threat. Now, that's a fact. I'll fuckin' kill you." - Kristen and Jeremy got this one: Ben Affleck in Good Will Hunting

wonder of me x 100

Kristen knows she can get me to post when she tags me on a meme, although this time around she acknowledged that she might be pushing my aversion to "wonder of me" posts a bit too far.

Boy, did she ever.

I started this one the other night and needed to abandon it because it was just too gross. And, well, it's still pretty gross.

100 Amazing Things I've Already Done

This list is meant to be in response to those lists that are often generated about the things you want to do before you die to justify your time on the planet; the kind of list that will inevitably make you feel like sh*t as you look at your watch and realize that time is ticking and the top of Mount Everest isn't getting any closer to sea level.

So, yeah, this is a list of 100 thing that I have already done. Some are more impressive than others, some are about what has shaped me as a person, but all are things that I can pull out as story fodder ("Did I ever tell you about that time . . . ?"). There is a bit of starf*cking going on in here, so excuse me.

Enjoy. I tag everyone who feels the need for a little self affirmation. You can write the list in your notebook if you feel like it.

I have . . .

1. Surfed in Oregon
2. Won the gold medal in the National Latin Exam
3. Climbed the Acropolis in four-inch red heels
4. Salsa danced with Joan Baez and Desmond Tutu — at the same time
5. Been given ride home by Jackson Browne — from his concert
   
6. Talked to Maura Tierney in the bathroom at a movie premiere
7. Earned my master degree from Harvard
8. Driven cross-country — three times
9. Run Rock the Vote
10. Published a zine
11. Published a blog — for more than three years
12. Been a Salzburg Seminar faculty member
13. Traveled to South Africa – twice
14. Visited Nelson Mandela’s cell on Robben Island
15. Dipped my toes in the Indian Ocean
16. Met Al Gore
17. Met Ted Kennedy
18. Taken a class from Michael Ignatieff
19. Done an independent study with Samantha Power
20. Developed the strategy for the first-ever Cabinet member blog
21. Kissed a Heartbreaker
22. Met two members of Nirvana — and kissed one of them
23. Seen a woman take her clothes off in front of the presidential palace in Prague
24. Maintained a friendship with Chris for 20 years
25. Survived and overcome
26. Been a guest on Loveline
    
27. Avoided financial ruin after a medical emergency that occurred when I did not have insurance
28. Celebrated New Year’s Eve in Edinburgh
29. Moved to London with no job and no place to live when I was 24
30. Visited the Lower 9th Ward post-Katrina
31. Written and read an original essay on NPR
32. Walked through Sherwood Forest
33. Trained young political leaders in Cambodia
34. Sat in a green room with Ted Nugent
35. Appeared on CNN as a regular political commentator
36. Contributed to fighting the global health crisis
37. Created a career out of doing “good”
38. Visited Bonnie Raitt back stage
39. Seen Badlands in a movie theater
40. Managed to avoid ever going bowling
41. Dropped out of college for a year and a half — and gone back to school
42. Moved to San Francisco (from Connecticut) on a Greyhound bus when I was 20
43. Met Bill Clinton
44. Trained youth organizers in Mexico
45. Been on the merry-go-round near the Eiffel Tower
46. Been John Hughes’ pen pal
47. Stayed in David O. Russell's guest room
    
48. Gone from growing up on AFDC/welfare to now earning more than xx percent of the population (too tacky to actually write)
49. Been offered a job by Mary Robinson
50. Spoken at my grandmother’s funeral
51. Had an essay published by the Carnegie Corporation of New York
52. Attended a presidential debate
53. Met Bono
54. Met — and been quoted by in a speech by — Sting
55. Seen Wilco in concert (at least) 10 times
56. Climbed the Wicklow mountains in Ireland
57. Gone on a road trip to the Clinton Library
58. Talked on the phone with Katherine Hepburn
59. Shaken hands with John Edwards
60. Stood outside the Cambridge City Hall at 12:01 am on May 17, 2004 to congratulate the first-ever same sex couples to be married in Massachusetts
61. Voted in every local and national election since I turned 18
62. Attended the International AIDS Conference — in Barcelona and in Toronto
63. Maintained a database of everyone I have met for 10 years
64. Watched Taylor give birth to Victoria
65. Called John McCain a “wuss” on CNN
66. Received flowers from Martin Sheen
67. Managed to convince foundations and companies to give projects I am working on tens of millions of dollars
68. Been linked to by Jeff Jarvis
69. Had one of my ads used as set dressing (Zoey's dorm room) on The West Wing
70. Had another one of my ads used as an example of ad agency star Helen Hunt’s work in What Women Want
71. Overcome my fear of cockroaches
72. Had an essay published in How to Get Stupid White Men out of Office
73. Seen Edward Norton and Catherine Keener off-Broadway
74. Seen John C. Reilly and Philip Seymour Hoffman on Broadway
75. Gone to an Ozzy Osborne concert — minus adult supervision — when I was 10
76. Seen Nation of Ulysses in concert
    
77. Seen Circus Lupus in concert
78. Seen Lungfish in concert
79. Seen Beat Happening in concert
80. Advised three presidential campaigns on young voter outreach
81. Managed to have the most perfectly 80’s iconic first make out session ever: behind the Space Invaders game; at the roller skating rink; wearing sneaker skates, designer jeans, a velour Izod pullover and a turtleneck with a whale on the collar; while Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust” played in the background
82. Interviewed Heather Armstrong and Robert Scoble
83. Saw Jawbox in concert in London
    
84. Worked on a diversity project that was cited by President Clinton's Initiative on Race as a “Promising Practice”
85. Had Carrie Fisher/Princess Leia ask me who she needed to f*ck to get into the VIP section
86. Exchanged emails with Pierre Omidyar
87. Met Walter Mondale
88. Gone to a rave in Southampton, England
89. Visited Angkor Wat
90. Shared "guest" status with Billy Baldwin on an ABCNews.com web chat
91. Served as an adviser on UNAIDS project
92. Attended four of five True False Film Festivals
93. Become a connoisseur of single malt scotch
    
94. Eaten dinner at a table next to Donald Rumsfeld
95. Served as a BBC political commentator on that fateful 2000 election eve
96. Worked on a documentary film project with Frances Reid
97. Organized a mayoral debate for young people in Kansas City
98. Driven the 101 from Los Angeles to San Francisco
99. Stayed at the oldest hotel in Savannah, Georgia
100. Attended one of two Dismemberment Plan reunion shows