arrested development must live

I won't bore you with another lame apology for not writing for the past few days. I am busy. Damn busy.

Anyway, my friend Jake said something along the lines of, "You sure are writing about abortion alot." (Which -- the way I just wrote that -- sounds like Jake might either be retarded or Southern. He's neither.) So, I'm not going to write about abortion today. I am going to write about the fact that Fox might cancel my favorite television show, Arrested Development, which does indeed star Jason "love of my life, fire of my loins" Bateman. This is a problem for me. (not the part about me having dirty thoughts about a former child actor, the part about them cancelling the show.) I want the show to stay on the air. I do not have a need to feel special because I like a program that the stupid people just don't understand. I want it to be popular. I want to walk down the street and see people wearing "GOB" t-shirts and cracking each other up with that whacky thing Tobias or Lindsey or George Michael said on the episode last night. I haven't actually seen a letter writing campaign yet, but it would be nice if you all made a point of tuning in from time to time. Of course, it's going to be yanked off the air for the next three weeks, to make room for something else, which is sure to spell d-o-o-m.

Arrested Development was on last night and I did indeed watch it. I also watched parts of the Grammy Awards, although often my embarrassment for the person on stage led me to hit the mute button, so watching was what I did for 70 percent of the show and simultaneously listening was what I did for about 40 percent. I managed to miss the Jennifer Lopez/Marc Anthony debacle that everyone was talking about on the morning news shows, but I did manage to catch Green Day win an award and I gotta tell you, the glee on Billie Joe's face was just not very punk rock. And, well, Jamie Foxx has managed to becoming the most pretentious man in show business in record time. And, do you think that the director decided to switch to only above the shoulder shots of Alicia Keyes because of all the jiggle that was going on in her backside while she played piano? Cause, well, the jiggle was sort of nice. And, is that Black Eyed Peas song old enough now that it should be played on classic rock radio? And, why did they let Gwen Stefani lip sync (or have backing vocals) when they left Eve to screech her way through their duet?

The other thing I wanted to say something about (there may be more in a bit, it's obviously been a while) is that I am getting nervous about the Michael Jackson trial. It's inevitably going to be a media circus and we're going to be blessed with 24 hours a day of pundits who never set a foot inside the courtroom giving their two cents about what is going on. But we have to remember what this trial is about. Even if Jackson never did anything inappropriate or illegal, what he is being accused of is incredibly serious and does not warrant snide remarks from Jay Leno, David Letterman or Conan O'Brien. And, even if the kid who is the accuser is not telling the truth, there are thousands of other kids (some of whom are now adults) for whom those stories ring very true and they do not need to be made to feel as if something that has caused them a great deal of pain in life is a big fu**ing joke.

Okay? Got it? Thanks. I'll be back. Promise.