indoor voices

I have had approximately one gallon of coffee today (four cups at home and about six cups here at the coffee shop where I have been sitting all day). I am sweating. It is time to stop.

This woman behind me refuses to use an indoor voice and is getting closer and closer to getting clocked.

She is horrible.

Yesterday I read that Scarlett Johansson has accurately identified her breasts (she refers to them as her "girls") as her best feature.

She is not horrible.

These women are also not horrible. They do, however, remind me of the time -- in eighth grade -- when I stuck my pencil down Dion Dowling's butt crack in English class. It was there. I was tempted. I followed through on the temptation.