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Is it wrong that I not only feel sorry for Mark McGwire, I also don't think I have ever been hotter for him? It's that pained look on his face as he tried to squirm his way through his Congressional testimony. He wouldn't say that he did or he did not use stereoids, but one look at his Popeye forearms and it seems like he either ate a sh*tload of spinach or he really was taking it up the ass (stereoids, of course) from Jose Canseco.

(Let us all take a moment to enjoy that image. Ahhhhh . . . )

I've got a thing for goaties and massive forearms. (Forget what they say about the size of a man's foot or ears or whatever. I see a wide forearm and I don't care if his dick is the size of a coffee stirrer.) Mark McGwire delivers on both fronts and the gray accents in his beard just make me swoon even more.

Poor Mark. I don't care if those forearms are fake, they're lovely. Like a porn star with DDD's.